From the Shelf :: "Just So Stories"

Absolutely Delightful, O Best Beloved!


This is our current read-aloud.  We have read bits and pieces - especially "The Elephant's Child" before.  But this time we are reading it through - one whimsical story at a time - and are thoroughly enjoying it.   It is music to my ears to hear the kids beg for more.


These stories are not deep moral lessons or rich tales of history.  They are sheer silliness.  But written in some of the most delightful prose that has ever rolled off my tongue.  They are a blast to read aloud.  The words are so much fun, sometimes Rudyard him self will stop and revel in them.
("Aren't those beautiful words, Best Beloved?" p. 74)


Even if you don't have kids or your kids are too cool for reading, I dare you to get this cheap little book and read it aloud to yourself.  If you have any appreciation for wordcraft whatsoever, you will simply be compelled to be delighted.


Kayla is now seven, and has the most fantastic sense of humor.  She understands sarcasm and dry humor and she and I have a blast laughing at things th  at fly right over Karissa's prissy little head.


The tongue-and-brain-tangling of "The Beginning of the Armadillos" would be a delightful skit. My very-most favorite line:

"Well, suppose you say that I said that she said something quite different.  I don't see that it makes any difference; because if she said what you said I said she said, it's just the same as if I said what she said she said.  On the other hand, if you think she said that you were to uncoil me with a scoop, instead of pawing me into drops with a  shell, I can't help that, can I? (p. 54)"

Tonight we read "How the First Letter Was Written."  When we got to the end, where

"Nobody said anything at all for a long time, till the Head Chief laughed; then the Stranger-man (who was at least a Tewara) laughed; then Tegumai laughed till he fell down flat on the bank; then all the tribe laughed more and worse and louder. "

And mercy, we laughed too. 


I would like to have had lunch with Mr. Kipling, I should think.


****************
a word on reading with your kids:


Have you ever noticed the difference  - when you have  conversation with  kids or teenagers - between those who seem a bit flat or one-dimensional and those who seem to understand and communicate in deeper shades?  I don't mean kids who try to sound grown-up.  I mean kids who can have a reasonable conversation with a grown-up about whatever and think for themselves and put words together in meaningful ways. I firmly believe that reading is the window to the world for kids.

"“The question is not—how much does the youth know when he has finished his education—but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set? and, therefore, how full is the life he has before him?” "



                                       — Charlotte Mason

The goal of education is to "set your children's feet in a large room."  You can train kids to regurgitate anything....times tables, history dates, theological facts.  But if you instill into a child a love for reading, a hunger for knowledge, and eyes of wonder....there are no limits to where that child can grow. And talk about a capacity for worship....!


Plus...it's just really really fun and cool and special to have the general habit of curling up with your kids and sharing books full of silly nonsense and fantastic bugs and humongous dinosaurs and car-crushing trucks and colorful places and children and ideas. 

Sometimes I think we understimate the power of seeing and hearing words from a very young age.  It sets the groundwork for their language and learning.  There are fancy educational names for all that, by the way, but I can't remember one of them.  You'll have to ask my sister-in-law Crystal or my mom or some other child-development-education-and-literature expert.  But I do know that if I had to make a very short list of things to give to my children....reading together would be on it!

Slight disclaimer:  Sometimes the silliness gets a little scandalous:  The elephant's child "spanks" all his relatives (we, of course, don't encourage children in spanking their parents and aunts) and the Neolithic ladies "were very polite to all their husbands, and said 'idiot' ever so often."  Good, light chance for training your kids to read with a sifter.  My kids were all over it when they heard the Neolithic ladies say idiot.  They KNOW that's a bad word!  : )

Wednesday with the WORD :: Proverbs 17:27-28

He who has knowledge spares his words,

And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

Even a fool is counted wise

when he holds his peace:

When he shuts his lips,

he is considered perceptive.

:: Proverbs 17:27-28 ::

Photos :: The Word, gifted at highschool graduation 14 years ago.

Walking the streets of Indy alone on a drizzly night.  Quiet Alone-Time carved out.

Let's Talk.... "The Law of Kindness"

I was going to blog about the 18-list for today. But it must wait. My heart is being pricked and I feel compelled to share my misery.....

A Bad Morning Story

It is a cold and rainy Monday morning. I wake up with a whole family of 6 sleeping in my room. It is impossible to walk to the bathroom without stepping on child-sized appendages. Three of four kids are sick (now: make that 4 of 4 plus mommy). I hadn’t planned to send the girls to school. But this sickness isn’t the raging-fever kind. It’s more of the red, leaky noses and sick, droopy eyes kind. The kind that make it hard to decide whether they should go to school. But the more I thought about a kindergartner with low grades on her phonics tests and a 2nd grader with parts to memorize for the Christmas play, the more I thought maybe I should make them rough it, droopy noses and eyes and all.


So the day begins.


Handsome husband, calm, rested & smooth, takes a long hot shower. Crisp hair. Crisp clothes. Smooth jaw. Eats his cereal while reading the news. Leaves promptly at 7:30....the usual time....without the girls. They are not ready at the usual time because of the whole sickness-indecision-thing. But he thinks they should go to school because they’ve missed a lot. (My mommy-gut disagrees, but I go on...)


So Then there’s me...braid hanging. Skirt and shirt that don’t match. Ugly eyes propped open with toothpicks after yet another night chopped with baby feedings, wet beds, lost pacifiers, restless sleepers. I begin the delightful process of dressing, feeding, managing four with very few minutes to get out the door.


Karissa’s sock line won’t line up and there’s a BUMP on the corner of her sock!!! Her shoe hurts. She absolutely cannot eat her cereal unless she is sitting by baby Corin.


Kayla is lost in wonder-world somewhere as she moves to the rhythm of her own cabassa. And she INSISTS those are not the socks she laid out last night. The socks she laid out did NOT have a flower on them!


Caiden (happy, dancing, love-giving boy) is a TERROR! His nose is “stuck.” Two of his favorite blankies are peed-on. He had a rough night. He is Not. A. Happy. Camper.


Corin is beginning the twist-and-grunt routine that means the starving-baby screaming is about to begin.

Thank goodness for the nightly habit of laying out clothes and planning lunches. We manage school uniforms and cereal bowls and phonics practice and long hair and hungry babies. Me getting to the end-of-my-rope-very-quickly. Me barking orders. Me starting to feel frustration mount. Me feeling resentful of smooth-and-handsome-husband who drove to school alone this morning. (Although he did deal with necessary discipline of sin-born 3-year-old boy before leaving.)


Grab 50-pound-carseat with 30-pound infant. Open the door and realize there is an icy-cold rain. Sigh. Zip coats. Worry about asthma girl. This day is an asthma attack waiting to happen. (And we all know that 7-year-old girls with asthma are at the top of the H1N1 high-risk list.) Hoods up. Hand car keys to kids.


Then the inevitable. Caiden’s bones turn to mush. He is now a screaming mess of boneless 3-year-old tissue writhing on my kitchen floor. I get baby and girls to car. And return to administer necessary discipline to boneless screaming boy.

Then the convicting quiet of the rainy 3-minute drive to school. I urge the girls to “GET. OUT. OF. THE. VAN!” a little too forcefully. Feel guilty for not writing tardy note for office. Refuse to go into school with mismatched clothes and toothpick eyes. Drive home while 3-year-old cries that he wants to go to Grandmas. He doesn’t want to be with me, he wants to be with grandma, he says. Repeatedly.


Tears squeeze out of my tired, ugly toothpick-propped eyes and onto my unmatched shirt.


And the WORD, living in me even when it hurts, reminds me of one of my favorite passages and life-goal.


"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."  Proverbs 31:26


Shoulders sag with reality and conviction. There may have been law on my lips this morning. But I’m not sure I heard much kindness.


This conviction is not just that of a rushed and frustrating morning. Our mornings are not always like that. Most mornings the girls walk out the door at 7:30 with uniforms and hair and smiles and the boys and I quietly begin our day.


But this law of kindness thing has been working on me.


I believe in parental authority. Obedience is necessary, we say around here. And our kids were born with sinful tendencies. It is my job to train them. (The NIV translation of Proverbs 31:26 says "faithful instruction is on her tongue.)


But sometimes I have noticed that when I instruct.  And when they disobey. When they create a delightful disaster zone in the living room and whine obnoxiously as they pick up the mess. I don’t always have a gentle tongue.


As my tongue trains, it sometimes sounds more angry or hard than it needs to.


I understand there is a delicate balance here. There are times when this brood of kids needs to be disciplined and instructed very strongly. And I’m a high-energy mom with high-energy kids. We talk and move and play and work with high energy. But sometimes I cross the line.


I have been convicted that necessary training and discipline does not give me license to talk harshly. I must be firm. But gentle. I long for authority and kindness at once.

I’m not talking about raging, screaming, abusive fits. I’m talking about the exact edge I put into my tone and my face when things get really crazy. Letting my face say, “I’m frustrated and angry.” Instead of: “You must abide by the standards of God’s Word and this home and I’m here to help you do that.”

Bottom line: I must have the law of kindness in my tongue. Always. Every day. Especially on cold, rainy, sick-kid, sick-baby sick-mommy  mornings.

This isn’t rocket science. But I long for God to grow me up even more. This law applies to dinner-table talk and husband-wife talk and every other kind of talk.

I will never be a honey-dripping, quiet-faced, never-ruffled mother. But Oh, Dear Father, forgive me.  And please don’t quit reminding me and reproving me when my tongue edges away from kindness.

So Caiden and I curled up on the couch, sang a Christmas-song book that he chose, and then took a nap together. (Did you know that naps help tongues and faces of tired, sick mommies?)

Post Script :: The end of this story is not a fairy tale.  I did not blog and confess and walk away magically more patient and perfect.  Last night was one of the worst parenting nights I can recall.  But my heart is fixed.  My ear is turned.  My spirit is open for His refining power in my life. And my kids are good at reminding me, too - in their own ways.  Some of this is heart work.  Some of it is grunt work.  The Word speaks light.... the Spirit instructs, then expects me to apply discipline to instruction.  Thank God for new days. And thank You, merciful Father, for accepting my tears of repentance.

**********

So...what spankings have you gotten lately? Where is the Holy Spirit growing you up and Into Him? Care to share?

1. Write about your Up-Growing on your blog.

2. Put the direct link to that post into the next number below.

3 . Let us come and learn from what you’re learning!

Mommy Monday :: "Managers of their Chores"

This book is from the same website and family who wrote the book I talked about last week (Managers of Their Homes).  I did not read this book cover to cover, but used it more as a reference & idea guide.  I also enjoyed the online software available to book owners.

We already had a simple chore system in place, incorporating Dave Ramsey's budgeting suggestions for kids.  Most Saturdays (except when I can't oversee it), the kids do weekly chores.  They do work on other days, but for Saturdays they have 5 basic chores. Then they get paid $5.00 commission.  The have envelopes to budget their income....$2 savings, $2 spending, $1 tithe/giving. 

I do NOT agonize over these chores.  I keep them short and sweet and I do not pick the kids to death.  There are some basic guidelines, like you have to put your cleaning supplies and rags away when you're done, but I have kept it very light and even the tiniest hint of fun. There is no white-glove inspection, but ongoing training and suggestions.  (But if you whine, you don't get commission for that chore.)  Sometimes I even have to make Karissa (5 yrs) stop cleaning and move on to the next chore or she'll keep going.  Last time, she was mopping the bathroom floor.  I found her some time later in my bedroom (attached to the bathroom).  She was mopping my floor too, and had pulled back the rug and was mopping under the rug!  I had to make her stop.  What a strange child. Sometimes she'll scrub and scrub until I make her stop.

Anyway...I got some good tips from this book to refine our process and to help me when I feel it is time to expand their chores. 

The coolest thing from this book is the chore pack. 

Included with the book are plastic name-tag-type thingys that have a clip.  You print out core cards and put them in the pocket.  They clip the chore pack on their clothes and work through their chores one at a time until the chore pack is completed.  My kids are so young, I actually have them put the chore card in our chore basket when they finish it.  This keeps it clear where they are in their chore process and I can check on what chores they have finished. 

Caiden (3 yrs) even got a chore pack and handled it well (except for sheepishly losing his laundry chore card).  His chores are a little different because he is home with me each morning.  His daily "spider man chore" (as he calls it in a deep, brave voice) is to gather the laundry in the morning and bring it to the basement stairs so that I can grab it and go when I'm ready for that part of my schedule. Sometimes it's a little too heavy and he has to have help.  Sometimes he cheats and only gets half the laundry and I have to take him back to be thorough.  But it just gives my mommy heart the strangest little tingly thrill to see him pulling that laundry to its place by the fridge.

Okay.  So my major advice about chores/commissions is this:  Keep it Simple, Stupid!  I tried doing the Dave Ramsey chore system earlier and was trying to get by cheap with quarters or something (don't remember exactly).  But I remember that it shot itself in the foot because it wasn't dirt simple.  If it's simple, you can stick with it.  If it's complicated, everyone will hate it. Especially you.

My goal is not to have 3, 5, and 7-year old kids who can win a cleaning competition.  I'm trying to train MYSELF to be consistent and get them used to the fact that they are valuable contributers to our home.  Some chores they do simply because they live here, by the way.  They don't get commissions every time they blow their nose.  Just those 5 chores.

I keep the chores simple enough that they don't dread them.  I feel this is extremely important at this age.  At these ages,  I would rather do some of my own spiffing after they're done (and not watching) than make them feel like they never-ever do it good enough to please mom.  My general guideline is that I want them to spend at least 5 minutes per chore.  We use timers a lot around here.  When they dust, I don't make them move a million things and dust nooks and crannies.  Then can even use a feather duster if they choose (but they much prefer rag-spraying).    Then, as the grand finale, their 5th chore is usually laundry. They look forward to this one because they get to sit on my bed and watch a video together while they fold. 

So there it is.  The book is a massive resource for chore-building.  Everything you ever could want to know about chores-training is in here.  It's a little more than we need right now, to be honest.  But it is an awesome tool.  And I think it is shaping my thinking so that I can grow their chore productivity in a practical way as they mature. 

Just you wait, in about 10 years I'll head out the door on Saturday mornings for yard saleing or writing at Panera and come home to a sparklingly clean house and glimmering children.  (Did I mention there were opiates hidden in the pages of this book?)  Yes, I know. They'll be teenagers then and they probably won't even be home on Saturdays!

Sabbath Worship :: Father-love

Matthew 7:11

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Romans 8:15

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

Galatians 4:6

Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."

Proverbs 3:12

because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Mark 14:36

"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.

John 3:16 (NLT)

 For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

Autumn at Home

It's a place where color abounds in any season

Mom's international herb gardens flourish and pour into hand-laid stone paths

Hundreds of details....character..blowing in the wind and tucked into every corner of this yard my brother calls a park. 

Grandbabies are at home here

We eat mamma's goodness and 4 kinds of vegetables at one meal and then we sit.  Hours and hours we sit and we talk and we laugh and we solve.  Good times.

Did I mention character?

We lay in grass and soak up sun here.  It is quiet.

The last of the prized "knockout" rozes linger past their time.

Dad's massive wood piles stand guard for the slightest hint of cold.....ever-ready for the worst winter could muster.  Never a match for my dad and BIG RED (his massive red pet monster of a wood-burning furnace.)

Josephine was springtime.  But Pippin is now. 

And it is home.

Family Night: K10C Part 1

This part wasn't originally in the plan for our family night last week, but it was such a gorgeous day we decided to eat our family night supper at the park.  By the time we got there the sun had set, so we froze our frannys.  But David and I talked through chattering teeth while the kids played a little.

Why doesn't that girl's mamma teach her not to talk with her mouth full of pizza?

We made a stop at the Dollar Tree for a few supplies (discovered that the ever-brilliant David didn't know that we had a Dollar Tree, Family Dollar and Dollar General in our little town, nor what the difference was between the 3....)

Then back home for our fun evening. 

I had wanted some fresh material for family night,  and I recently ran across Focus on the Family's K10C curriculum (Kid's 10 Commandments).   I originally wanted to buy the Family Fun Pack, but found a wildly cheap deal on the church curriculum, so I went with that.  It includes the full-size board game, the video lesson set, CD soundtrack, reproducible workbook, craft & snack ideas, discussion questions, the works. (Whoever sold this entire brand new curriculum for $25.00 must not have known what they had!)

After it came in the mail, the kids were so excited to dig in.  We weren't disappointed.  My weakness is trying to plan too much, but it was so fun.  The first lesson covered the first 2 commandments (with Christmas coming up, we decided to do the 5-lesson VBS option instead of the 13-lesson Sunday school option.)


Here is David demonstrating what life would be like without guidelines.  Starting with the mess he made of a frozen pizza by not following instructions.  At first the kids thought the sprinkles-chocolate-ketchup pizza mess was cool, but they got the point after tasting the frozen concoction. (Kinda like real life...seems fun 'til you get a taste of the results....)

I cheated on the craft and bought their treasure boxes pre-made at the dollar store.  They decorated them with markers.  Inside they say, "This box is empty becuase my treasure is in heaven."

We made playdoh "idols" to demonstrate the silliness of worshipping anything other than the true God.  David got a little carried away with his idol making.  (Notice Moses poised for tablet-crashing....a dramatic scene on the video.) What a sculpting expert....Is there anything my man can't do?

The animated commandment videos are quality, in my humble opinion.  The kids aren't allowed to watch past commandment 2, so they've watched the first episode over and over.  They're begging for another family night.

We really don't do a big deal like this very often, but the kids love it when we do. Could family devotions be more fun?

From the Shelf: Thanksgiving Stuff!

The season of Thanks is here!  I'm looking forward to some time with my little family & some hot chocolate with cream......focused on God's bounty in our lives with purposeful thanks-giving.

"Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action."  ~W.J. Cameron

I admit it...I'm a resource junkie.  Now I realize that having lots of resources is certainly not necessary in order to practice the habit of gratitude and to fully celebrate Thanksgiving.  But they help me to have a plan for helping to focus our minds, hearts and hands in creative ways.  They save me brain waves.  And most of all.....resources get me excited.  I can't help it.  It's my kid heart, I guess.  And  excitement is contageous.  So books & resources are a shameless priority in our budget over lots of other things.

I think http://www.familylife.com/ resources are the absolute best we've found for making Thanksgiving meaningful.  The first three are new this year and I can't wait to get them in the mail!! You can listen here to programs about some of these resources.  It is easy to rush through the holiday on the way to Christmas and get to the other side wondering if you ever really settled into the meaning. These resources can help get everyone tuned-in weeks in advance .

Growing Together in Gratitude - a family devotional including stories of people who have been grateful even in difficult circumstances. New!

Let's Talk Turkey - printable discussion cards for the table

A Family Prayer of Thankfulness - laminated card for $.99

Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember - Barbara Rainey's classic Thanksgiving resources....available in Audio version, coffee table book & CD of Thanksgiving hymns.

The Legend of Squanto - the story dramatized on CD by Radio Theatre

ThanksLiving Treasures - This is an awesome Thanksgiving kit from Family Life, but they don't make it anymore.  We got it in the used homeschooling section of our Christian Book Store.  There happens to be one for sale NOW on Amazon.com! (Click the orange link.)  I think this may be the first time I've ever found another one for sale - and it says it's new!  Ours includes: a 6-day devotional with stories, scriptures, discussion, application, and activities.  Plus a special section with ideas for Thanksgiving Day celebration.  There are printed art cards illustrating points in the Thanksgiving story, as well as visual pieces to use with the lessons (a replica of the Mayflower, corn, cross, small Bible).  Also: recipes, resources, websites.....It's $20.00, but it's cool! 

We also have a thick red journal that we pass around at Thanksgiving each year and let everyone write their thoughts of gratitude looking back over the year.  It is a treasure.

"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." ~W.T. Purkiser

photos :: autumn sunsets from our front yard

Wednesday with the Word

* * *

Praise the Lord.

Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,

Who greatly delights in his commandments. 

His offspring will be mighty in the land. 

The generation of the upright will be blessed. 

~ Psalm 112:1-2

* * *

Now if THOSE Living Words don't get your motor going about being a parent, I don't know what will! 

This morning, Kayla called me from the bathroom.  She was holding her "throne" reading material, which was a book from our new family devotions kit.  She asked, "Mommy, what does it mean for God to be the center of your life?"  I said, "Oh honey, don't worry with all that stuff.  You'll learn about all that when you get bigger. Just put that old book away and brush your teeth."
 

Kidding.

I was SO excited to get to answer her!  What question could thrill a mama more? 

The other night during family prayer, Caiden's request was that "we will be powyerful!" He's a very dramatic boy, and pretty much everything he says is said with passion and intensity. Who knows where he came up with the request...he probably meant "powerful in fighting alligators and lions."  But it certainly got our attention.  Because we know of a real-life lion they must fight.  We pray power for our kids. (And I often think of the goal - raising powerful worshippers -  when the training gets tough and I feel I'm the one getting the brunt of the discipline.)....

We even named our boys accordingly.  Caiden means "warrior."  Corin means "spear-bearer."  Our highest dream for them is that they will be men of God's might - driven by worship - full of the strength of His Spirit. 

Now if I can just get this warrior to keep his clothes on and eat his vegetables.....

"Lord, I can deal with puked-on shoulders and crunchy floors and chopped-up nights if only You will give me children who are "mighty in the land".....mighty in character and love and worship and kindness and principle. Teach me to fear and worship you more freely and delight in your commandments more fully.  And guide my children with your powerful hand of love.  Amen!"

photos:  Girltime at Chicago's American Girl.....Baby Big Boy with those eyes, that spirit.

Let's Talk Tuesday: Basic Weekly Menu Plan

I am loving my oh-so-simple current menu system.  It saves me so much brain energy to have a basic weekly menu.  I've tried different menu-planning ideas: (Once-A-Month-Cooking, menu mailers from Saving Dinner, Calender Planning).  This one is not the most elaborate and detailed or even the most efficient, but this is my current and I'm liking it for this stage in my life and energy level.  Some of this is definitely kid food, especially on the  busiest days.  But I can make these as quick and junkie or as gourmet and healthy as I want and add fruits & veggies.  I helps me so much when I go to the cabinet or freezer to plan dinner.  Most of the decision-making is already done. 

MONDAY

lunch: Buffet (use up the good stuff  in the fridge.  My mom-in-law sends us great Sunday leftovers.)  

supper: Poultry/Fish  (from frozen fish sandwiches to steamed Alaskan King Crab....from barbequed chicken to leftover turkey)

TUESDAY:

lunch: Breakfast food   (We usually eat oatmeal for breakfast, so this gives us a chance to enjoy quiche, omelets, pancakes, biscuits, egg wraps....)

supper: Beef/pork (tacos, pizza subs w/ ham, steak, barbeque, pork chops....)

WEDNESDAY:
lunch: Mac & Cheese or McDollar menu (quick and easy - that's my run-errands day)  
supper: Pizza (David's out of town and I get 4 kids ready for prayer meeting alone. 'nuf said.)


THURSDAY:
lunch: Teaching Day - (David out of town.  Kids eat at grandma's.)
supper: Frozen meals (It's late and I'm pooped by the time I pick kids up after teaching)


FRIDAY:
lunch: Sandwiches  (subs, wraps, grilled cheese, turkey, egg....)
dinner: Open for Date night/Family night


SATURDAY:
lunch: Soup    (chili, chicken & noodles, potato, broccoli, vegetable stew...)
supper: Pasta (lasagna, fettuccini, spaghetti, ravioli, manicotti...)

SUNDAY: 

lunch: Dinner with Frys (Eggs, rolls, salad & dessert)

supper: Cereal and milk or after church randomness

So LET'S TALK....

What about you?  What meal-planning ideas have worked for you?  Recipes?  Ideas? Cookbooks?  We'd like to hear if you care to share.

Here's how:

1. Write a post about your blog on your favorite meal planning ideas.

2.  Copy the direct link to that post into the last number below.

3.  Sit back and wait for blog-company.

Corin - 14 weeks

Hope it doesn't mess him up, to hear so many people call him "pretty."  He'll probably need therapy someday. 

He has graduated to the exersaucer.  I love this stage, but it's bittersweet to see him grow so fast.  Mostly sweet.

Would you look at those lil' squeezable rolls? I work hard day and night to feed him those rolls, thank you very much.

You know in trouble when you buy a used exersaucer for your 3-month-old and the 7-year-old and 3-year-old have a viscious battle over playing with it!  Thankfully the 5-year-old careth not for the exersaucer.

Mommy Monday: "Managers of Their Homes"

I got inspired about the book after my friend Rachel bought it.  It comes from the http://www.titus2.com/ website, which has lots of great resources that SAY they're for homeschoolers but are really just great tools for alll parents.

The book is all about scheduling your day and working the schedule until it becomes second nature.

I have used a checklist-sort-of-schedule for years. This book helped me to do some refining and gave me a kick in the skirtus. It also made me face the reality of how much time things actually take.  I am trying to adjust my world accordingly.

My schedule is not perfect.  I do not keep the schedule perfectly by far....  Even when I do keep it, I still marvel at what doesn't get done.  Some days seem to turn upside down with or without the schedule.  But it's in the back of my mind, giving me direction for the day.  And I am fitting in more things more often.  That's enough.

This whole idea should not be a guilt issue for those who don't use home scheduling.  You shouldn't try it unless there's something in you that wants to.  Millions of mothers have survived without a schedule.  It's not required for good motherhood or wiferhood or anyhood.  It's just something that has really, really helped me with my days.  I think my patheticness requires it.  It seems that the behinder I get, the behinder I get.  Until I can literally find myself wandering around the house in circles, wondering what to do next.  Sometimes I'll tell David...Okay.  These are the things bugging my brain.  Tell me what is most important to do RIGHT NOW. 

Well..my schedule does that for me.  It just gives me the next thing to do to help me keep moving through the day productively.  I love to use it as a checklist.  I highlight each thing as I get it done and love to watch the page turn pink or yellow or orange.  I even add other things I accomplish just so that I can mark them off and see that I actually DID accomplish something today!    It also is a sort-of defense for me when I feel the "you don't do enough" hammer getting ready to beat me to a pulp.  My schedule proves that life takes time and I'm not a total loser.

In my opinion, this book is expensive and can make scheduling seem complicated.  But it's worth it if you're seriously looking for some good ideas for getting things done.  And I think it is even more awesome for those of you who balance homeschooling and homekeeping.  You have my admiration a thousand times over.

I first started using a written schedule/checklist as I internalized some of flylady's ideas.  I use a simple table in microsoft word and set it up in half-hour increments down the side with days of the week across the top.  Whether you buy this book and make a wall chart or use flylady's planner or a spreadsheet like me, I think it's absolutely essential to remember that this is a tool to help you, not a hammer to beat you.  The schedule serves you - not you the schedule.  It's not only OKAY to change other's ideas to fit you.  It is necessary.

Here are some basic ideas for getting started, for those of you that are curious.

1.  Put in the things that cannot be changed: 

• Get kids to school
• Weekly appointments
• Choir practice
• Prayer meeting, etc.

 2.  Have a basic weekly plan.  One of the things David reminds me of when I get overwhlemed is, "You have to decide what NOT to get done today.  We women keep a list running in our heads.  This weekly plan helps me decide what's for today, and what's for tomorrow:

• Monday -desk day (budget, bills, calls, business)
• Tuesday - laundry day & projects (I do laundry other days, but this is the biggie)
• Wednesday - errands day & church
• Thursday - teaching day - all day
• Friday - home blesssing (cleaning) & family night or date night
• Saturday - Kid chores & church prep
• Sunday - worship, rest & blog

 3.  Have a simple morning & evening routine.  For instance:

• am....
• Breakfast cleanup/sweep floor
• One load of laundry
• Feed dogs
• pm....

• lay out everyone's clothes for tomorrow
• pack lunches
• quick house straighten
  
  (I realized as I started typing how much my routines have grown and become a part of me.  cool)
  
  
  
  

  4. Schedule 15 minutes of decluttering or deep cleaning in your  Flylady zone.  (www.flylady.net).  Over the years, I have adapted mine from flylady's suggestions to fit our home better.
  
  • Week 1 - Dining room/office
  • Week 2 - Kitchen
  • Week 3 - Kids Rooms
  • Week 4 - Master Bedroom & Bath
  • Week 5 - Living Room
  There are lots of other things to add, some of them necessary, some of them extra: 
  
  Practice with all the kids, read-aloud time with kids,  walk & pray, kid bath time, cleaning car, meal prep & cleanup, family devotions....if you're lucky - time to brush your teeth and wash your hair. 
  
  
  
  

  But if you put in the first 4 things above, you will create a framework for the week. 
  
  
  
  

  I am trying to do my schedule a little more "scheduled" now.  But that in itself can create some frustration when the day turns on its head.  I have also been amazed that that even on days when I follow the schedule almost perfectly, I can get to the end of the day and look around and wonder why things don't look better.  So these ideas are not perfect or magical, by any means.  But they have sure helped. And goodness knows this mamma needs all the help she can get. 
  
  
  

Sabbath Worship - O Praise!

From the Shelf: The Rest of God

Loved this book!  I finished it a couple of months ago or so, but haven't blogged about it, ironically.  Because of schedule.  Back-to-back, never done, always behind schedule. 

Last night I stayed up, got out schedules, considered options, and regretfully said no to another wedding shoot and speaking engagement.  Two things I love to do.  But I've been saying no lately.  A lot. 

I've been saying no because I have to.  I'm embarrassed sometimes that I can't handle more.  Feel I should be able to do it all.  Spent my Monday Desk Day yesterday...at my desk!  Working like a madwoman to get budget, bills, transfers, orders, papers, Christmas list in order.  And at the end of the day, wondering why life takes so long.  Am I not efficient with my time?  How could I move through the daily more quickly?

Or should the question be:  How could I move through my day more slowly?

I'm intensely interested in efficient home scheduling.  Too much time wasted, I repeatedly return to the rhythm of my schedule to come up for air and breathe again.  But the concept of Margin is a life-long quest for me now. Has been for some years.  I am a master of fitting it all on one page.  I can use a .5 margin and change a font and adjust text to Fit.It.All.In 

But sometimes all isn't better.  I long for space in my day, my closets, my brain.    Freedom from the always overflow of life.  I am longing to linger. 

Lately, I've found myself agonizing and grieving over multiple emails and responses that sit unanswered while I scurry to change diapers, do laundry, pay bills, do dishes.  Then in embarrassed tardiness, I answer the poor waiting souls with a frenzy of apology, explanation, excuse..... All true.

But I've been longing for the fragrance of me to be more quiet.  More gentle, relaxed.  Unrushed.  Unapologetic.

But it seems that requires either:

Being more together than I could possibly ever muster. 

OR

Saying no. 

And so no it is.  But I'm realizing that "no" alone will not solve my problem of rush.  It is a matter of the spirit, the mind.  It is a philosophy of living.  Frankly, I haven't figured it all out, the unrushed life.  It is still a mystery to me.

I do enjoy the everyday.  Savor the small.  But I am oh-so-quick to let life choke me again.

The world will go on without me.  But I alone set the tone for this home.

This book is at once beautiful and powerful.  The title is doubled with meaning.  If you dare take the time to curl up with a book (I used spots of time during newborn feedings), this is one I recommend.

"Lord, quiet me with your eternal time.  Help me to choose wisely my daily tasks.  Choose me to protect strongly my time with you.  Help my fragrance to be calm and sweet, not rushed and frantic.  Help me, somehow, to manage this overflowing life you have given me with grace and rest.  Teach me, Lord, to find The Rest of God.  Amen."

Pictures from our date

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.

 ~George Eliot

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

 ~Albert Camus

Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn. 

~Elizabeth Lawrence

falling leaves

hide the path

so quietly

~John Bailey, "Autumn," a haiku year, 2001

as posted on oldgreypoet.com

No place is boring, if you've had a good night's sleep and have a pocket full of unexposed film.

 ~Robert Adams, Darkroom & Creative Camera Techniques, May 1995

Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Hip Hip Horray

Yay for two 4-hour stretches of sleep!
Yay for getting to sleep in on Saturday morning!
Yay for getting a huge project done that has been bugging my brain!
Yay for going on a cool date with David!
Yay for 5-year olds who love to hold babies!
Yay for Daddy overseeing kid chores!
Yay for a whole free Saturday to get caught up!

I feel like a person this morning.  And David and I are planning a fun date this afternoon:  a fall photography date and 18-list review.

I've found that lately I haven't  been using my lens so much to just capture the beautiful things around me.  And I've got a hankerin' to photograph some pumpkins and leaves.  We have matching cameras (ain't that cute?) so we don't have to sit around and wait for each other to finish our shots.  AND we don't have to tell each other how to do it.  I'm free to be me.   We also plan to have lunch and review our parenting 18-list, if I can find it in the computer archives (no time to explain the list....I'd like to do a post about it later). 

Hope you have a happy Saturday.  Hope I do, too.  I'm afraid there are some flu bugs lurking in the corners of our home.  So I'm hoping to have the most wonderful day possible before they crawl out and get us.
(picture by David)

The REAL Bio

I have no business being on the computer at all this morning, but it's David's fault.  He got an email this morning from someone needing my bio for Youth Challenge and brought it to my foggy attention.  They need it tomorrow - and they'll get it, I'm sure.  They'll get the "received her degrees in....and married so and so....and currently resides in...." bio.   But as my twisted brain got to turning, I couldn't help but share with you,  dear friends and lurkers....

                                  the REAL bio of Sarah Fry!

Sarah spent her early years pretty much confused about what she wanted to study, be and do. God had mercy and gave her a brilliant man who has it together. These days, Sarah is suffering from a constipated brain as a result of a severe sleep deficit (because she’s too dense to figure out how to get her new baby to sleep through the night.) Her house is suffering from a depressing case of behindness. She and her husband had a squabble in the middle of the night over babies and bright lights and who knows what so she spent one of the night feedings fantasizing about sneaking away to her mother’s and leaving him alone with the children. She vacillates between feeling semi-confident about her place in life and feeling totally inadequate and mediocre at best about herself and everything she does. Sarah is overweight, overwhelmed and over-sensitive. But she loves her kids beyond description. She’s crazy about her handsome husband. She savors the small things. She values her true friends. She has finally realized there is incredible rest in God’s grace. And she dreams of someday jogging peacefully alone in the early morning hours, then going back to her company-clean house, putting her skinny self to bed and sleeping until she wants to wake up .

Now that I got that ridiculous nonsense out of my system, I'm going to shut down the computer, fix a bottle for the incessantly hungry baby, let Karissa feed him, and choose a project to throw my exhausted self into with the force and energy of a limp string been.  Happy day to you all.

Corin - 10 weeks, 4 days

"It is not a slight thing

when those so fresh from God love us." 

~ Dickens

Let's Talk....

Autumn

I love the coziness of Autumn.  It makes me want to snuggle up and read a book (Who am I kidding?  Every season makes me want to do that!).  Or bake something savory and linger at the table with my husband.  I love to walk outside and catch that first breath of the crisp, fresh air.  I love arranging straw bales and pumpkins and corn stalks in my yard.  I love to drive down the road as the fall colors whiz by and look at the glowing lights of homes in the evening.  I LOVE to smell woodsmoke!  And  I admit - I love the promise of Christmas and snowflakes in the air.  Just this morning, Caiden (3) asked "When does it snow?"  I am crazy about every season.  But right now..this one's my favorite.

I like to hear my friends talk about things.... to hear you share about your life, your world, your happy day, your goofy kids.  Or even to laugh with you about your poopy diaper day or your frustrating job or your opinion on the troubles of the world.  I learn from you. 

So on that note....I'd like to hear you talk about something today.  It's something general, but maybe it will get you to share with us this morning.  And I'd really love to hear your thoughts.

"What do you love about autumn?"

Here's how it works: 

1. Post your thoughts (or a quote or a picture) on your blog.

2. Click below ("you're next") to add your blog link to the list. 

3. Your blog link will be added to the list and we'll come visit you!

Have a happy fall day, friends!

 

Unseen Friend

Photo:  One of David's Chicago trip shots & a favorite love note.

I laid on my bed in the dark with happy child wildness muffled outside the door. 

Turned on the fan; Put my good ear down and my part-deaf ear up to muffle more.

And I cried.  Let the stress run out in tears.  Let my soul unclog.

I have friends....and I thought of them with gratefulness....but I prayed for a friend anyway.

In His own way, He sent this one to minister to me tonight.  She doesn't know me, but she understands.  Maybe her words will come alongside you, too, and keep you company.